When jealousy turns into pity

Sometimes friendships we thought would last forever come to an end. Only when they end do you realise that you were more their friend than they were yours. I had a similar experience where I went from hating her, being envious or jealous of her, to pitying her. This is my story: “When Jealousy Turns into Pity”!

I wrote about this somehow in the blogs “To the End of a Friendship” and “Don’t Waste Your Life in Unforgiveness”.

I rarely think about her. My life is so good without having to deal with her, even though we have a lot of friends in common. But again, she is not my problem anymore. Whoever wants to know something about her can ask her directly, not me. When I do think about her, I only feel pity, and I’m disappointed that I was jealous of her life, which is a total chaos that looks good from the outside but is a total mess. I hope she is doing well now, for real.

Sometimes we look at others and wonder, why them and not us? But we don’t know what they went through to have what they have. It took me four years to finally understand this. I don’t want anything from anyone else’s life. I love my life as it is, with the bad and the good. I don’t want to change anything about it. Thanks to it, I am the person I am today. Comparison is the killer of joy; it brings bitterness, jealousy, and much more.

Sometimes I think I was jealous of her, but I never was. I think that, with the mix of emotions I was experiencing, I thought jealousy was the root of it all. But the root was unfairness, which brought all the other emotions, too. It made it look like jealousy. But for someone who always cared about getting her own things done, when other people didn’t do what they were supposed to do to save her in the moment she needed them, it angered me so much that it could be seen as jealousy. But actually, I can see more now than I was able to see before. There is always the chance that I could be wrong, but her fakeness couldn’t be hidden anymore. That made me hate everything about her.

Looking back now, I’m happy! I was happy before her. I couldn’t see her for who she really was until it was no longer in her favour. But everyone deals with their issues however they want, just don’t bring your chaos into my life. I pity her when I hear more about her past and see the other decisions she makes now. I’m not keeping tabs on her life, but somehow, I hear little pieces of it once in a while.

I’m proud of how far I’ve come. I can’t say for sure that I don’t hate her anymore. I’m probably still working through mixed emotions when I need to deal with her, but for the time being, that is not the case. I pray and hope that God keeps her out of my life and as far away as possible, and that I can keep working on my issues when they surface once in a while.

Peace of Mind

My takeaway for you is: don’t waste your life comparing yourself to others, because comparison is the killer of joy, and it brings more ugly emotions with it. Focus on your life, work on yourself, and be content with the life you have. Not everything that shines is gold, and not everything that seems greener on the other side is actually greener. Be yourself and enjoy every piece of yourself and your own life.

Be blessed and stay blessed!