Mixed Emotions Regarding Finding a New Job

The more I look for a new job, the more confused and discouraged I get. I don't know what type of work I want to do. I have mixed emotions regarding finding a new job.

The job market is brutal.

I know this very well. It is not the first time that I'm without a job. It took me six years to get a job closer to what I studied. But for what I graduated from, I still haven't gotten a job. It has now been 9 years since my graduation, and I feel more useless than ever. Somewhere along the line, I try to be positive about it, because some people never get a job even close to what they've studied.

Mixed emotions regarding finding a new job

After leaving my last job, I was relieved, and it was the best decision of my life. I don't regret it. That job stressed me out for 3 years and was planning to start all over with stressing me with a new relocation after the first one.

One thing I did learn from my situation now is that I know what I don't want in a job. I don't want a job that stresses me out because it is chaotic. At my last job, I did have nice colleagues, and that is something I hope to have at my new place as well, or at least a place that is warm towards me.

At one of my interviews, I enjoyed the interviewers. They were very kind. The colleagues, on the other hand, were very boring and quiet, an environment I'm not used to. This was my first impression. The interviewer told me that the job needs a lot of concentration. I understand that, but it was quite like a burial, nothing too bad though. I also saw a chair, the same chair as at my latest job, which I didn't like.

Worst chair ever.

Looking for a new job has the ability to make you doubt if you even have the ability to do the work you are applying for. I understand that they do their best to get the best personnel as possible, but the truth is that most people don't even love their job. They still work because they need money.

I was sad after both jobs rejected me. I thought that one of them would be the job for me, but it wasn't. Deep down, after the second job rejected me, I was expecting it and was relieved because I didn't think I would love this job. The job sounded interesting, but at the same time, there was unnecessary work in my eyes. I hated the chair and didn't like the quietness of the job.

While applying for jobs, I don't feel qualified enough for any job for which I am supposed to be qualified. And the rejections make it feel worse. Yes, I know I didn't have all the qualifications for the job.

I started looking for jobs that are below my qualifications, but then I'm overqualified. The one doesn't want to risk it by having someone who will get bored too fast with the job, so they reject you. The other one doesn't want to take the time to teach you so you can achieve the qualifications you need, even though I have the degree at least.

It's crazy and depressing. It makes me feel incapable of doing the job I struggled with for 5 years studying for and never landing a job in, because I couldn't convince them that I was the right person.

Trying to make peace with it

I'm reaching a place in my life where I'm trying to make peace with it. Yes, I did my best studying, but maybe what I struggled with for so long isn't even what I really want to do in life.

I'm open to trying other jobs. Maybe I will find what I want to do one day. Just because I got this degree doesn't mean that it is the last and only option I have.

I believe that there are more ways to succeed in life, even though it is not the conventional way. The conventional way is: get a degree, get a job, and that is success.

Success can have many forms. Increasingly, I'm convinced that sometimes it is time to let go of something that isn't working to find what really does. Even when there may be doubts, maybe I need to do more!

Still need to get a job

The realization that success might be different from what I thought all this time doesn't erase the fact that I need to find a job, but I don't know what.

When they ask me what my dream job is, can I say that I don't have a dream job? I'm looking for what I want to do with my life. Because there is where I am. My motivation is: if I think that this job can be bearable or worth trying, I apply.

There is this saying:

"Rejection is God's redirection."

And I want to hold on to it. Maybe all these rejections will teach me the lesson that I need to learn, and finally I will reach the place He has for me.

My life is in God's hands. There is much I can do, and I'm doing it. That is applying, preparing, and being ready to accept what God has for me.

Be blessed and stay blessed.