Trusting God now!

How can I trust the Lord when things get worse, when I can't trust Him now? This year, I want to pray about everything, and that comes with a lot of faith and trust in the Lord. But how can I trust God now?

When I look around me, it's like I'm still living pretty well and save here in the Netherlands. We are not yet in war or anything like that. It seems like we have it good here. It's good to notice that whatever happens in the world also affects us. That means because of wars, prices go up, and life becomes more expensive. Food has gone so high in such a short time. A home is not even buyable in the Netherlands unless you have money or a mortgage.

Trusting God now.

I look and feel what affects Holland, and I worry for the future. I want to have a family and buy a house, but what I got paid isn't enough to do all this, surely not in a short time. Somehow, I can be comfortable with how life is now. Doing everything on my own, thinking I know what is best for my life than God. Truth is, it is not!

At some point, I remember how close and clearly I could hear God talking to me. But I drifted away, which makes coming back more challenging. I keep remembering what our relationship was like. How could I trust the Lord even when people thought I was crazy?

Now I have become one of those people who fear trusting God. Stressed about my job, while not knowing what I want to do. How to buy a piece of land. Prices are going up, and we're not even getting paid enough to deal with inflation. Doesn't know when God is talking to me, and keeps asking for a lot of signs before I move.

Asking for signs is not a bad thing. God speaks to everybody in a way that they can understand. So, when I keep thinking about who I was and how I became, I feel shame. Shame of how I came so far. Does God still love me? Does He still want me back? Now, I'm not only dealing with trusting God, but also shame, which makes it even harder to come back to God.

I don't have much to offer. Sometimes I think I need to be perfect so I can talk about God. He calls us to give testimonies about him. But how could I do this when I don't even search his face? What am I going to tell? Even though He tells us not to worry about what we will tell, we need to fill ourselves with the word of God.

God is my only hope.

Yes, He is my only hope. The only one who knows what I need. The only one who can lead me to the best of the best. Christianity is not easy. It's dangerous to think that you have reached it all and have nothing to work on. Meanwhile, we live in this world, and we need to keep searching for God's face. I don't want to be a hypocrite, but sometimes it feels like it. But I need to realize that I'm not perfect. I can talk about my experience with God; meanwhile, I am struggling. We fall, we sin, and we get back up. The most important thing is to get back on track. To come back to Jesus. There is nothing else outside there that is not in the hand of Jesus.

In the hand of Jesus.

There is nothing better than being in the hands of Jesus. If He told me to do it, I know for sure that He will catch me. What He tells us may seem crazy because we don't understand. But I have never been disappointed in the things He has done for me in the past. Still, He gives us free will, and we can make the choices that we want. I made my choice, now I can tell that my way is not better than his.

Trusting him is not easy. While writing this, I'm trusting him with a lot. So much so that if I do them on my own, I will be stressed all the time. But with God it's different, I can pray about it. I can put it at his feet. Next, I need to be obedient and do what He tells me. Sometimes there is a waiting time, things look impossible. But for God, everything is possible. Our ways are not His ways.

Right now, I'm trusting God for miracles. I'm doing things He told me to do, without even having what I asked for to make this thing possible. This is how faith works. The fear creeps in: what if I'm wrong, or what if it never happens? That fear is legit. But the only way we can test it is by stepping out. If He told you, He will definitely catch. And if He didn't, He would still make a way because He loves you.

Be blessed, and stay blessed.